What makes a relationship thrive? Whether in friendships, business partnerships, or romantic connections, the answer isn’t just love, it’s growth, trust, and the ability to hold space for each other as individuals.
In our latest podcast conversation, we explored the depth of relationships, including the highs, the struggles, and the moments of transformation.
And a powerful truth emerged: Great relationships aren’t about perfection or control; they’re about allowing each other to grow, choosing appreciation over blame, and leaving room to be surprised by the people we love.
To listen to the episode "Tips for Creating Conscious Relationships," tap the play button below.
Growing Together, Not Merging Together
Healthy relationships aren’t about entanglement, where two people lose themselves in each other. Instead, they’re about standing strong as individuals while allowing roots to intertwine, supporting each other’s growth without suffocation. Think: two trees growing side by side.
This idea challenges the myth that we need to share the exact same beliefs, habits, or approaches to life to be compatible. True love isn’t about sameness, it’s about trust, respect, and the ability to learn from each other’s differences.
For example, co-owner Emily S and her husband have been together for 14 years and don’t share all of the same practices or belief systems. She meditates daily; he doesn’t. She leans into energy work; he has different ways of processing life. But rather than seeing their differences as obstacles, she came to see them as strengths. This creates a relationship that is separate but deeply connected.
In life and in business, we can use this perspective shift to change everything. It allows appreciation to be born and gives space for the uniqueness of the individuals’ dynamic instead of trying to force sameness.
In any relationship, the key is not to become a single tree but to allow each other to grow as individuals while supporting one another along the way.
Releasing the Grip of Expectations
If there’s one thing that keeps people stuck in cycles of frustration and resentment, it’s expectation. We enter relationships with silent rules and unspoken demands for how someone should show up.
And when they don’t? Disappointment.
But what if, instead of expecting, we allowed?
Here’s a game-changing concept: Show up willing to be surprised and delighted.
Instead of assuming someone will disappoint you, assume they will support you. Instead of controlling how they express love, allow them to show up in their own way and express love however they choose to.
When we expect people to behave a certain way, we leave no room for them to surprise us. We create a rigid framework for how love, friendship, or partnership should look, rather than appreciating the many forms it can take.
This doesn’t mean lowering your standards—it means shifting your perspective. Instead of focusing on how someone should act, pay attention to how they do show up for you.
Expectations limit possibilities. Trust expands them.
The Power of Appreciation Over Blame
Blame is sneaky. Sometimes it feels good in the moment and it gives us a reason (or an external source) for our frustrations. But it also keeps us powerless, waiting for someone else to change before we allow ourselves to feel better.
A radical shift happens when we replace blame with appreciation.
This can be common with moms and new moms. When someone becomes a mother, sometimes it invites a feeling of “imprisonment” in the home. Many women may feel stuck at home with the baby while their partner gets to come and go. This can leave the door wide open to blaming others for their frustrations and getting caught in cycles of resentment.
The core belief in this cycle is: “if only my partner would show up differently, then I would be happier.”
But the truth is: waiting for someone else to change is what keeps you stuck.
Here’s the shift: instead of focusing on what wasn’t happening, you can chose to notice and appreciate what is.
That small shift can change everything. Not only will you start feeling more love, but it invites the other person to show up in unexpected ways—ways you might have missed before.
Instead of keeping score, ask yourself:
What is this person already doing for me that I haven’t acknowledged?
How can I express appreciation instead of waiting for them to change?
What would happen if I chose to see the good in them before anything else?
When you change the way you see someone, they often begin to show up differently.
Love Is a Practice, Not a Destination
Great relationships don’t just happen. They are created through small, intentional choices.
1. Visualize the Love You Want to Experience
Whether it’s a romantic partner, a friend, or a business collaborator, take time to visualize what a thriving relationship feels like. Try imagining intimate connected moments with your partner, or fun, exciting moments with a friend, or successful collaborations with a business collegue. Whatever it may be, this visualization will put you into a mindset of appreciation and love and will ultimately attract more of those moments into your life. And this isn’t about wishful thinking, it’s about training your brain to notice love when it actually shows up!
2. Own Your Side of the Street 100%
A thriving relationship isn’t a 50/50 split—it’s each person showing up fully. You take full responsibility for your happiness, and they take full responsibility for theirs. This means:
Instead of waiting for your partner to change, focus on what you can shift.
Instead of assuming a friend knows what you need, communicate it.
Instead of expecting people in a meeting to act a certain way, allow them to surprise you.
This doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior, but it does mean recognizing that your happiness isn’t dependent on someone else’s actions—it’s in your hands.
3. Trust the Journey
Let go of the need to micromanage how love unfolds. The best relationships aren’t planned; they evolve through trust, curiosity, and mutual respect.
Think about a time when someone completely surprised you with their kindness, support, or love. That moment probably wouldn’t have happened if you had been controlling the outcome. The magic of relationships happens in the space we leave open for them to unfold.
At the heart of it all, relationships are about choice. The choice to grow together. The choice to release expectations. The choice to appreciate instead of blame.
So, what choice will you make today?
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